31 March, 2008

you know what, nature?

If we're going to go through all the trouble to genetically modify you to stop yielding seeds in your delicious fruit, you better hold up to your end of the bargain. I don't need your extra little crunch in my mandarins while I'm having my afternoon snack.

Your vitamin C -- thank you.

Your vehicle for progressing genetic make up to future generations -- thanks, but no thanks, orange.

24 March, 2008

how progressive are you? just watch!

There are a lot of yucks to be had in the incredible similarities between the "tragedy montage" in Michael Moore's Bowling for Columbine and Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror" music video. Interestingly, it's Michael Jackson who went the distance to include a nuclear explosion.

While watching, I encourage you to examine how frighteningly small of a space the viewer is given to think about and digest the visuals being imposed.

First, Mr. Moore:

And now, Mr. Jackson:

Kitsch always has its experience packaged into it. The emotional response one feels after watching these videos is part of the video's DNA. We might as well be watching triumph of the will
by Leni Riefenstahl.

One can't fight fascism with fascist tactics. I believe that is called the status quo. I'm sure these videos by Mr. Moore and Mr. Jackson had much more interest in making a few bucks, than creating real change. Because their impact is emotional rather than intellectual, one is much more likely to reach for their wallets than, perhaps, reevaluating his morals and values.

As Clement Greenberg said, "Kitsch pretends to ask for nothing from the viewer but money -- not even time."

Essentially, those ghosts of people that we call Michael Moore and Michael Jackson, who come down every so often from their Mt. Media Olympus, have turned caring from a passion and a lifetime of dedication and work, into a leisure activity. Caring is something a progressive consumer can do on a Friday night without ever leaving his home. Caring can be bought and consumed.

Where do we go from here?

What do you think?

11 March, 2008

republicans, 1996

for some reason i have this very vivid memory of the 1996 republican convention that i can only assume is false.

when the party announced Bob Dole's running mate, Jack Kemp, i remember it like this:

it was a big secret. and people were lining the beaches (I think it was in san diego?), and then a gaggle of balloons were released, fireworks were set off (in the middle of the day, so it was more like an explosion), and then out on the horizon -- out in the sea, you could make out the silhouette of a person on a jet ski. who could that be? he's coming closer! who is it? who's our new vice president going to be!? It's Jack Kemp! Former NFL star! He's here! We can do it!

I believe this memory originated in my tenth year. I doubt it's reality solely on this -- if the VP was announced in such dramatic fashion, how could they have lost? And they did. So. You know.

05 March, 2008


right now Doug Sacrison is wearing his underwear, sitting on my couch, and eating two dough nuts and a bag of cheetos.

all is right in the world, rest assured.

04 March, 2008

mozilla my dreams

i should point out this whole thing happened becasue i went to bed thirsty.

i was having a normal night of dreams -- moving seamlessly from one dream to the next -- changing locations, supporting characters, desires, everything. basically, a typical night's sleep. however, in my sleep last night i was terribly thirsty, and it started to have an effect on my dreams. my dream me became desperate for some water. my thirst essentially became a very cool vehicle for a very interesting imagination device:

my dreams became tabbed a la mozilla firefox internet browser. my dream me started to browse through previous dreams to find some water. i would click on the tab, enter that reality, and explore the scenery to see if i could find some water. if i didn't find any water to quench my thirst (which i never did), i would click on the tab's "x," and that world would disappear and i'd select a new scape to explore.

anyway, eventually i just woke up and got some water. but i was pleased with my unconscious thought process.